Slogans

Slogans. The thing that can change a company’s fortune for better or worse. The things that can be a stroke of genius, or more rubbish than the stuff in your bin. Being the pessimist that I am, I am now going to talk about those slogans which are awful, and  make you want to go home and become a suicidal hermit. Not that I am…

Have you heard Costa’s new slogan? ‘Saving the world from mediocre coffee.’ How stupid is that? Costa wouldn’t know an ambiguous slogan if it saved the world from definite statements. (Funny ain’t I?)

And then there’s McDonalds. ‘I’m lovin’ it’. What kind of people put their adverts in the first person? It gives you a feeling of exclusion, like they are trying to say ‘I’m lovin’ it, you’re not, so you can’t be in our gang.’ If I owned McDonalds, I would change the slogan to something like ‘We’re all lovin’ it, aren’t we Bob?’ That would be much better. Sort of.

Slogans are probably something like 3% Genius, 20% Mediocre (like coffee) and 77% Can We Please Not Talk About This? If someone would invent a slogan machine, it would be really helpful. Sort of. But the way to get rid of bad slogans for ever is very simple. No-one buy anything. Ever. That way all the companys will be broke, and they won’t have any money to spend on advertising! Genius. I think I might just go and invent a slogan machine…

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