I’ve been thinking. (‘You’ve been thinking! That’s a change of pace.’ – Like Mike, 2002.) No really, I have. I thought about humans. I cried. I thought about lemons. I regained the will to live. But anyway, I was thinking about life. (Oh no! Here goes another moving and inspirational post!) I was thinking that humans think too much.

We do, actually. Every second of our lives is spent rationalising, talking, (‘You talking to me?’ – Taxi Driver, 1976.) blogging, writing. But why? I don’t know. Thinking hurts my porridge. (Porridge – Brain synonym. Suitable, for some fans of mine.)

Enough seriousness. You don’t come to this blog for that. (You probably don’t come to this blog at all, unless you are A.G.W, F.F, N.C-J, A.C. Which you’re not. Are you.) I want this post to be enjoyable. So I will tell a joke:

How many A.G.Ws does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To change the lightbulb. (Sorry if I offended you, but I did try to make it completely unreferential to anyone. Apart from A.G.W. Obviously.) (Sort of.)

 Bennisdfighbwes. Pronounce that!

Thank you to N.C-J for inspiration. Please check out his blogs.


Chess is a wonderful game. Many people play it for leisure, competitively, even professionally. It is fun. I am quite good at chess, but I know someone who is very good indeed. (You know who I mean, A.G.W.) I like chess. (I state the obvious.) But why am I posting about a game? I’m a pessimist, aren’t I? ( Latin – Pessimus/Pessime, meaning very bad/the worst, very badly.) (Sorry about that. It’s part of my new ‘Educate the doctorbenzi fans’ project. Current amount of information transported to other’s minds: 0.0000001 nuggets. And that was my blog username. In the bipenultimate sentence. Check it out.) (Oooh. Benzi said a fancy word! The recommended sentence is now antepenultimate. Bow down to me, the master of language.) (Bow down was present imperative active.)

 Anyway, back to chess. What’s that? You forgot I was talking about chess, because I was ranting on about language? Ah well.) Chess is very simple. You move your pieces to win the game. (A.G.W. will give you full rules in a comment. Won’t he?) (Hint hint.) As I was saying, before we were so rudely interrupted by that picture to your left, chess is one of the most widely-played games in the world, and the Russians are good at it. (That explains A.G.W. He’s Russian*.) (Actually, I wasn’t saying that before I inserted the picture, but hopefully no one noticed.)

Bensparov (Work it out.)

* Sort of.