What if?

My good friend, chingching01, posted a short thought-provoking story titled What If? I am going to imitate that, for imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Anyway, what if computers had not been invented? I would not be typing this now. What if lemons had not been discovered? Er… not much, but it would mean I could not have my Gravatar, and that is clearly important. What if Dr Seuss had not invented the word nerd? (He did: I am cleverly educating you subliminally and therefore becoming a hugely respected figure in my local community. Sort of.) Then not much would have happened except more people would be geeks, which is no bad thing. (See?! I am not anti-geek. Sort of. Sorry anti-geeks.)

But the answer is clear. If all these things had not happened, no one would know, and this post would be slightly different. Ah well. Just be thankful that they did happen, and that tis post is like this.

Thank you Alex, Fred and Niall for the inspiration. Goodnight.




 One of my earlier posts, I hate/love the world, may have given you the impression that I was a cheerful, happy-g0-lucky optimist. I’m not. I tend to look at the bad side of things before the good. My glass is always half-full, but it is with poison and it has a leak. And what particularly annoys me is people who think that they have the moral high ground, just because they drive a Toyota Prius, or recycle almost every day/week/year. They don’t. The best kind of help is the one you don’t notice, or the one you don’t brag about at the golf club. (Disclaimer: I do not own a Prius, and I do not play golf.) I like to toast chestnuts on an open fire. I know that is not very good for global warming, so I try and be eco-friendly the next day, by running instead of driving, or recycling.

So this brings me onto my main point. Why waste your time with being better, when you can be the best? Why not, instead of telling everyone that you only ate mushrooms yesterday, do it today. But you can’t, because at the moment you are eating steak, as a reward for being so brilliant. Wait. Doesn’t that mean you just boosted global warming? But you’re eco-golfer! What is the world coming to? (That was not a good sentence. I shouldn’t have said that, should I?)


A breath of compressed air…

Air vs Petrol… who would win?

The challenge set was to build a safe, comfortable car that weighed less than 1,000 lb (454kg), could seat four easily, but had to look good. So not the easiest of tasks, then. And this is what Honda came up with. Powered by compressed air, it was not original, as Volvo (amongst others) also built an air-powered car. But none of that matters. What matters is this: It’s a Honda. Not a company renowned for thrilling, radical cars. (Except maybe the NSX and the Civic Type R.) So if they can come up with something that looks like this, they may have some hidden talent with building exciting cars. Then we could send them a letter, asking them to use this talent in new production cars, and Hondas would be interesting, and the world would be happy.

Just don’t be surprised if you get a letter from me soon.



Hello and welcome to my first personal post. Now, I am not very brilliantly O.K at being personal, because I maybe very not often probably make sense. But I’ll try. As I write, I am staring out the window, watching life move by me. This is sounding a bit moving, isn’t it? I’ll rephrase it: as I pound angrily on the keys, I sneer out the grimy window as the awful pollution of London moves by me cruelly and unnoticingly. What I’m trying to say is that there are two ways to look at life. And, unlike what some people will (try) and tell you is that complex and detailed is not always better. If I were to take a walk around London, noticing every little detail, I would move to Kent and sit in a cave all day. But if I took the same walk, but only appreciated the beautiful and brilliant about our city, I would not be by now sitting in a cave, because that would mean I could not write moving posts like this one, because there is not a lot moving and meaningful about a cave in Kent. Sorry Kent. So this brings me to my conclusion. Always look on the bright side of (Kent) life!




You all know Zeno’s paradox, being the well-informed Doctorbenzi entusiasts that you may or may not be. If not, look it up on Wikipedia. The answer is always on the Internet.

Done? So you will get 100% if I tested you on it? No? Well I’m not going to test you. This is your lucky day. All I’m going to do is compare it to the world nowadays. Now review sentence 8. Ah. Of course, it does not work (the paradox, not sentence 8). But it should. Like some of the people I know. Ha ha. Sorry some of the people I know. There is a way to get round this mind-boggling ancient theory. That is: plot your journey for twice the distance and stop at the first halfway point. Sometimes it works to think outside the box. But, as Zeno would say, it is impossible to get out the box. First you have to go halfway, then halfway from there again, etc.


Movies of 2010/Why going to the cinema last year was a total waste of time

2010. No doubt a fantastic year for many bloggers, what with all that exciting stuff going on in all those exciting places. But for me, last year was just a waste of a year. The reason for this is simple. I like to go to the cinema. There were only two good movies in 2010; two in a whole year. Add 2 and 2 together and you get the answer: I had about 2 hours of enjoyable cinema last year, leaving 8,763.81277 hours of sitting on my bed eating mushrooms. And for those of you who read my I hate/love the world, you will know that I HATE MUSHROOMS. So 2010 must have been really bad.

How incredibly ominous...

  This is one of the two good films. I admit I did not see the other, (The King’s Speech) but I am assured if its excellency. I liked The Social Network. Unlike many others, it did not rely on things exploding to get high ratings. (Think The Hurt Locker, The Pacific.) And ther’s the poster for the movie. WOW. Who wouldn’t want to see it? Now, you amy remember my last post, where I talked deeply and movingly about another movie poster. All of you die-hard Doctorbenzi fans will know what’s next. Please answer the question in your comments: ‘What movie poster is better: Back to the Future, or The Social Network?’


Back to the Past…

Doesn’t the past always seem better than the present or the future? Don’t you wish that you could turn back time and live out the greatest day of your life all over again? But I believe this is not the way to live. Live in the present, not the future though. If you live looking forward, life will skip gaily by you whilst you are unaware. Or in English: If you never look around, how can you enjoy life?

No thanks. I don't like riddles too.

This is the reason for this incredibly moving, inspirational and sentimental post. Or at least part of it. That’s right. The 1985 hit movie, Back to the Future, inspired me to write this post. Well done; a poster made me waste 15 minutes of my life. Or about 10 hours, considering how many times I have watched that film. But anyway. When I saw this poster somewhere or other, I was struck by a sudden feeling of not-permanentness. If that’s a word. But what I thought was: ‘What is the point of trying to attempt time travel?’ I mean, really? Why not let the world do its thing, and not try and succeed in manipulating it? Because what does this make you? Please answer in your comments. The question is ‘What is the point of time travel?’

Thank you for your time. Ha ha.